Now you will read a report more personal than what I usually tend to post here. I cannot distance myself from the subject this time. This adventure deserves a post on its own.
Thoughts, UNCENSORED
Thealter International contributes every year with one show to the Dankó Pista Festival, which is a cultural program in the Csillag prison. This year it was Enikő Éder (Arad Chamber Theater), who made this journey with us.
Csillag penitentiary is the strictest gaol in Hungary, with only major criminals – some even with a lifer. The Csillag (Star) got its name because of the shape: from a circular rotunda with there are 4 corridors of cells in the three-story building. Like this they can protect relatively many people with relatively few men: there are a few thousand guys imprisoned here.
I did not want to go… Every year I avoided taking part in this special performance, as I had seen the faces of the people returning from there. It is good to face (different) reality(es) from time to time but I wanted to protect myself from this experience. This summer I was pushed to go. So I prepared for the worse, took a deep breath, and…
I entered. After handing in my ID I had to close up all my belongings into a wooden locker. As a press person I could take in a camera, yet, my recorder was already hard to get through. With trembling knees I stepped through the security gate.
Walking up the steps it did not seems as a prison at all. Beautiful stained glass windows, little scale-models exhibited, piece of art (mostly paintings) on the walls. Through a double gate we entered the yard… The group had to keep together since only one door can be open at the time. This made the process really slow. I became more and more nervous as we approached the “Star”. I already envisaged the dirty walls, I could feel stuffy, humid air and the worst odors.
“We have to wait here – the spokeswoman said – as they have to empty the passageways. There is only space for 50 imprisoned, so it’s a big privilege to be selected”. Before we could ask how they chose who could come and who not, we already got permission to enter into the next phase.
On the metal stairs, we climbed up to the third floor to the theater hall (which is next to the library). The gentel-jailers held the door for us. The imprisoned (actually, they always used the more neutral “fogvatartott”, detentioned in Hungarian) were not locked up into their private cells. They stared at us from behind the bars as we passed them. I don’t know if anybody dared to look at them – I did not. Not that I was afraid, I felt weird but totally safe…I was ashamed to look at them as something I have not seen before. It reminded me of a zoo – only I could not decide this time if I was the one observing, or I was the one being observed.
It might sound strange, but this lengthy “entering ceremony” prepared us for what we were going to see.
We entered the theater hall, where the detentioned already took their seats before we arrived. They were scrammed into school benches, while we had our own seats in the first two rows. One row of benches separated us, nothing else. In their first row there were guys wearing casual dress – they could be set free soon. The restly dozens of people had no chance to leave these walls soon. Of course two guards were on the watch. As soon as we sat down, Enikő Éder entered and the lights went off.
“I don’t know how to do it differently, this is all I know, and it is pointless to ask me, I can’t give you more. Someone else may come who promises more and sings better than us. But I do not know what else to do, this is all I know. Instead of miracles I can only offer a smile”
- she started. This show was not designed for the prison, nevertheless, the songs fit into the place. Enikő sang about home, about loss, about being alone in the world. As a person who travels a quite lot, who has lived in some countries already, I could identify myself with the orphan cut off from his roots. And my first tear came. But in that space every word, every movement had a different meaning. Some comrade-expressions caused a big laughter; but we hear more and more deep sighs as the show processed. Sure, we could leave after the show but for them, this was their home.
Ms Éder was a DIVA. In block capitals. She was elegant, she sexy (sometimes I would say sensual) and she was seducing. I respect her courage, to step out, beautiful as she is, among 50 male detentioned in their early thirties... She made no distinction between us and them.
Sometimes the lights went on, so that she could see our faces. And I tried to hide all my emotions, as I did from the very beginning, when I thought somebody was watching. I did not look left or right, I did not interact with the actress. But from inside all types of emotions throbbed.After the performance we had to leave right away. No chance for interviews or gazing around. Outwards there was the same process as inwards. The journey, getting you ready for the outer world again… But for a long time we remained silent… Cluck…
